


(you make my) heart throb

by calvinahobbes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calvinahobbes/pseuds/calvinahobbes
Summary: It's hardly Phil's fault that Dan's stupid years-long crush has taken Phil coming out as an excuse to flare back up.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 21
Kudos: 117





	(you make my) heart throb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Allthephils](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allthephils/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Cindy <3
> 
> Thank you for beta, Keelin!

"What about this one?" Phil says and holds up a blue button-down.

Dan pauses and surveys it critically. It has tiny beach balls in orange and red and white on it, which surely is Phil's style, but…

"Maybe not for a date," he says. "I mean, you want to signal your quirky personality not make him think you're… whatever the hell that says." He waves his hand to indicate the whole concept of the shirt.

"Oh," Phil says. He looks genuinely crest-fallen for a moment, which is so unlike him that Dan's heart nearly skips a beat.

"Phil?" He steps in closer, trying to parse whatever is on Phil's face.

"What if I can't do this?" Phil says explosively, as if it costs him every bit of courage to push the words out. He looks up at Dan, and his blue eyes are big and luminous in his pale face. "What if I'm not ready?"

"To buy a shirt..?" 

"No!" Phil rolls his eyes. "To go on a date!" He pauses, and the rest comes out so quietly and carefully Dan almost has to strain to hear it. "With… a guy."

"Oh, Phil," Dan says before he can help himself. "You're just going out. You aren't promising him _anything_. If he thinks you are, he's an asshole." 

Even though this asshole behaviour is completely hypothetical and really all in Phil's mind, Dan already feels the urge to tell this guy off. He will blast him on every social media Dan has access to if he so much as makes Phil frown.

"Yeah?" Phil says hopefully. "I mean, I want… things…" He fidgets nervously, and it's honestly adorable.

"Oh yeah?" Dan smirks. Is Phil actually blushing a little…? "What kinds of things?"

"Shut up," Phil mumbles and hangs the shirt back, walking away from Dan's teasing.

Dan takes an even longer stride than usual to catch up. 

"Look," he says.

Phil stops, glancing up at him but not maintaining eye contact. There's a tension in his shoulders that Dan is not used to seeing in his best friend. 

"I know things are scary." He runs a hand down Phil's arm, and maybe he shouldn't have done that, because now he's aware of Phil's soft skin under his palm. "You were with Janice for a really long time, and being out is still new, but I promise you, you can do this." He feels his heart begin to thud faster and knows he needs to round off this moment of earnestness before he takes it too far. "If you don't like this Richard guy, there'll be a miles-long line forming behind him. You'll be beating them off with a stick."

Phil smiles crookedly. "Thanks, Dan. You're the best. I'm lucky to have such an experienced out gay helping me along." The last is said with a cheeky grin, but it makes something uncomfortable flutter in Dan's stomach.

"I've barely been out longer than you," he mumbles and steps back a little, dropping the point of contact between them. 

"Well, yeah, _technically_ you've only just come out, but you've been with loads of guys!"

Dan quirks an eyebrow. "Calling me a slut, Lester?"

Phil giggles and swats at his arm. His tongue does that curly thing it does. Dan doesn't remember when he first had the thought that he'd like to taste that grin, feel that weird curl against his own tongue, Phil laughing into a kiss… He pushes the thought away forcefully. Now that Phil is out, thoughts like that are only creepier, even more dishonest than when they were just idle moments of lust for his straight friend in a committed relationship. 

"If the shoe fits…" Phil says.

"You know what, on second thought, I think you _should_ buy that shirt," Dan says, pretending to maliciously grab it back and try to foist it on Phil.

Phil giggles harder and refuses to take it, running away instead. Dan lets him, hanging the shirt back in a random spot and taking a moment to breathe and look blindly at the selection in front of him. He's doing this for Phil. Phil needs him, and Dan needs to rein in his inappropriate feelings. It's hardly Phil's fault that Dan's stupid years-long crush has taken Phil coming out as an excuse to flare back up. It's a delicate time for Phil, and more than anything he needs a friend right now. Dan pulls out a gorgeous black shirt with a wide pinstripe design in silver and burgundy. It's subtle and mature, and Phil would look damn good in it. 

He looks further down the aisle for Phil, who is already looking back at him, holding up a shirt for Dan's approval. Dan cocks his head, purses his lips and nods. He holds up his own find and Phil makes a face like he has been forced to eat cheese and shakes his head vehemently. Dan sighs. He supposes it would be too much to hope that Phil's new taste in partners would also magically alter his taste in clothes. 

*

Back home in his apartment Dan is getting ready to truly throw himself a pity party. He has his most comfortable and ugly jogging bottoms on along with his old and raggedy Britney Spears t-shirt. He has opened a bottle of red wine and ordered a take-away. _My Best Friend's Wedding_ is lined up on the TV, and his cell phone is fully charged so there's no chance he'll miss any messages if Phil needs his support while out on his date.

The knock on the door surprises him, because the food should still be another twenty minutes away. He opens it and feels a minor shock run through him to see Phil standing outside.

"Phil? What's going on? Shouldn't you be on your way out?"

The Phil in front him looks nothing like the Phil he is used to seeing. He is fidgeting, nearly shaking, shifting his weight around restlessly. It's such a contrast to the breathtaking sight of him with his quiff carefully styled, dark rimmed glasses framing those incredible eyes, and the burgundy shirt with tiny white hearts on it that he ended up picking out earlier. 

"Hi, Dan," he says and smiles almost ruefully. 

Dan's heart thuds forcefully in his chest at the weird tone in his voice. 

"I know you said I could do this, but the truth is… the truth is I don't _want_ to do this. I don't want to go on a date with Richard."

"Oh… 'kay," Dan says carefully. Phil's nervousness is contagious, and he can feel his pulse rising steadily, his palms beginning to sweat.

"I'm sorry if this ruins everything. In that case we can just pretend it never happened." Phil's voice is tense and vibrating with some emotion Dan has never heard in it before. His gaze swings from where it has been focused on Dan's knees to meet his eyes, and the intensity of it nearly sweeps him off his feet. "I wanna go on a date with _you_. I'm in love with you. I think. I mean, I love you, you're my friend, but I think. No. I know. I'm… in love with you." 

Dan stares at him, completely stunned. He feels his throat constricting, thoughts and emotions tumbling down over him so fast he has no idea how to react.

Phil frowns. "I've been in love with you for years." Then his eyes widen in fear and he takes a step back. "I'm sorry. I'm making it worse. Forget that. I'll go--"

"Phil!" Dan shouts. It echoes in the empty hallway, and he has another moment of surrealism that this is happening _now_ when he looks like this. "I'm in my pyjamas!" he exclaims in utter frustration.

Phil looks at him blankly. "What?"

Dan sighs and reaches out, grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in close. "Come here," he mutters. 

Phil's lips are plump and soft, and he makes a little noise in the back of his throat when Dan touches them against his own. It makes Dan smile, and he feels the answering curve of Phil's mouth as it does the same. He can't believe this is really happening.

Phil leans back and studies him. "So you're not mad?" Dan shakes his head. "I didn't ruin it?" Dan shakes his head again. 

Phil laughs, and Dan gets to taste the happy curl of his tongue.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr.](https://calvinahobbes.tumblr.com/post/621718223755345920)


End file.
